My new year's resolution number 9 was: keep on blogging.
I never expected the long planned transitions that happened in between to take up so much of my energy, though. It feels as if I'm waking up from an intense, incomprehensible dream, still figuring out between the here and now and the there and then.
The feelings when you try to start your life anew.
It is the first time I'm trying to start my life completely anew.
Things are slowly, gradually dawning on me.
Things like needs.
Things like wishes.
Things like plans.
Things like insights.
B recently posted this video and being blown away by its emotional intensity I realised how much emotion there still is lying beneath my seemingly numb surface - long lost emotions and heart's genuine desires.
It was rather scary to get such a sensory display of them all at once.
But I was grateful.
I'm starting a long long trip, and an additional push was very needed.